September 27, 2022

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5 Trivial Things That Make You Stay Away from Others, Curious?

Humans are social creatures who cannot live without other people. The existence of interaction between each other helps humans meet their needs. But, what happens when things that are considered trivial and are done without realizing it can be shunned by others so that you are also stunned to think about where your mistakes have been.

Then, what are the trivial things that can make you shunned by others? The following is an explanation and prevention adapted from psychologytoday.com and other sources.

1. Giving advice without being asked

illustration giving advice (StockSnap/pixabay.com)

Are you one of those people who like to give unsolicited advice and stand by when your good cause is rejected outright? You should learn to understand the situation and typical of your friend, will he be happy if he is given advice? Sometimes people have their own way of solving their problems, like when someone makes a mistake, they need time to introspect and reflect on it, instead of being given advice.

This also has a negative impact you knowbecause it can damage friendships and change other people’s perceptions of you, as reported by a journal from Michael Schaerer, people who like to give unsolicited advice subconsciously want to dominate and thirst for the attention of others.

It’s best to be a good listener, this will help you learn to empathize by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Only when other people want your opinion, then you can give vibe positive ones.

2. About borrowing something

Illustration of borrowing (janeb13/pixabay.com)
Illustration of borrowing (janeb13/pixabay.com)

You may often borrow pens belonging to your friends and forget to return them, or indeed they have been returned but are not intact/damaged or even lost. You must think that the owner is at best only scolded, then the next one must be sincere, anyway at first glance the pen is not a valuable item. Eittss.…if you have thoughts like that it’s highly likely that you will be shunned you know. It’s not about the value of the goods, but the trust of someone. Just try borrowing something a second time, won’t they be reluctant to lend it?

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Although the value of the goods borrowed is not of great value, trust from someone is expensive and not everyone has the right to get it. Therefore, no matter how small the nominal, form, and quantity of borrowed items, it is better to return them before being asked, this will determine your quality.

3. Likes to interrupt other people’s conversations

Illustration of interrupting someone else (kabaldesch0/pixabay.com)
Illustration of interrupting someone else (kabaldesch0/pixabay.com)

The next trivial thing that makes you shunned is that you like to interrupt other people’s conversations, your hasty attitude in responding to something, let alone being emotionally involved without waiting for the other person to finish speaking, can hurt his feelings. Maybe most people think it’s trivial, it’s even been shown on TV shows. But, you don’t want it, do you, if it can actually damage the circle of friends and eventually start avoiding you.

It would be better to first listen to the intent of the other person, and start responding politely. Learning to respect other people’s opinions is important, instead of being egotistical and just wanting to be heard.

4. Promise, deny

Illustration of a promise (cherylholt/pixabay.com)
Illustration of a promise (cherylholt/pixabay.com)

Spontaneously making promises to others is very easy, especially if it is supported by a good mood, and has a personality people pleaser alias wants to please all. What makes it difficult to keep it, it could be just a matter of forgetting or not having the intention to keep it, it could boomerang on yourself, because promises are like debts that must be paid. You might lose the trust of others and inevitably, shunned.

On the individual side, if promises are not kept, it makes the heart uneasy, but you can imagine don’t you? How do the people who fall victim to your false promises feel? Therefore, don’t necessarily say yes, just because you feel bad for other people or want to please someone. It’s better to be honest if you’re not sure you can fulfill it.

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5. Joking too much

Illustration of a joke (Pexel/pixabay.com)
Illustration of a joke (Pexel/pixabay.com)

After being tired from work or being under pressure, it leads to stress and depression towards endless problems. Most people would choose to gather with friends to let go of feelings and restore the mood. Because, every meeting will definitely be peppered with fun jokes. However, you need to be careful, not all topics of conversation can be used as a joke, what sounds trivial to you can offend other people. There are some jokes that can even lead to bullying, such as outspoken mocking of physical form, mental health, and lead to things that are personal and unintentionally also heard by others.

You laugh, he laughs too but his heart says otherwise. At other times, they will start avoiding you.

Be careful when throwing jokes at other people, his intention to lighten the mood and invite laughter can actually be the source of the cracking of a relationship.

Those were the trivial things that made you shunned. You should start self-introspection if you have ever done the things listed above. Make everyone happy and comfortable around you.