So that we can accept ourselves better, we need to apply what is called self-validation or self-validation. Self validation will help us to better understand what we are feeling, then try to accept those feelings appropriately.
There are several steps that can be taken to implement self-validation. Based on the writings of Mukherjee, C. (2020), the following are some of the stages that you can use as a reference for implementing self-validation, let’s listen to the end!
1. Pay attention to the feelings you feel
The first step or stage is to pay attention to the feelings you are feeling right now. Are you happy, angry, disappointed, sad, or just happy.
Then, ask yourself what you need right now regarding the feelings you are feeling, for example, you are sad and need some time to be alone.
2. Accept your feelings
We must be able to accept the feelings that are being felt, even if they are unpleasant feelings such as sadness, anger, disappointment, and so on.
We must be aware that all the feelings that arise must bring certain messages or lessons for ourselves. Don’t try to deny it or say that you don’t feel it. Admit it and just accept it as it is.
3. Be aware of your own feelings
When we are angry, disappointed, or envious, it is okay to feel that way. Humans are born with various kinds of emotions that are entrusted to them. However, one thing to remember, does not mean the emotions we feel define us completely.
When we are angry about something, it does not mean that we are individuals who are easily angry and never smile, when we cry does not mean that we are a crybaby.
4. Don’t stop the process
Applying self-validation may not be as easy as the theory described. It takes practice and hard work so that we can accept our own feelings.
However, we must remember that everything does need a process, including accepting ourselves. Keep doing your best, and don’t stop learning.
Those are the four stages in self-validation that you can apply to be more accepting of your feelings and yourself. Everyone has the right to be happy and to feel a variety of other emotions.